This is a super fun read, based off of a super miserable experience.

My favorite posts tend to be a bit lengthier and heartfelt, but this one is perfect for that mid-week chuckle.

Originally posted: July 15th 2016

After a few weeks of too many beers, greasy food, unusually high amounts of stress(even with the tolerance I have built due to my constantly-stressed-about-the-most-trivial-things-self) and travel, I decided my body seriously needed a cleanse. I needed to restart, reboot, and to stop feeling like complete crap (so far in this post I have said sucks and crap– both words my mom hates but are totally necessary). So, I ordered my first ever juice cleanse from Pressed Juicery.

And like any good girlfriend, I forced Brady to do it with me.

We opted for the Cleanse 1, which was designed for beginners. Here’s a little run down of how my day spent cleansing went:

Vanilla Almond Milk- 7:30 am

  • Almonds, dates, vanilla bean, sea salt

This was the perfect way to start my day. The milk was sweet without being too sweet, and actually filled me up.

Greens- 9:45 am

  • Kale, spinach, romaine, parsley, cucumber, celery, apple, lemon

We got to drink this as our post-workout drink. I missed my normal eggs with a ridiculous amount of hot sauce for breakfast, but wasn’t too upset.

Roots- 12:00 pm

  • Carrot, kale, romaine, spinach, parsley, apple, ginger

Surprisingly, I didn’t find myself starving before lunchtime. This juice definitely wasn’t my favorite though. Probably because I had had green juices and almond milk before, but this was totally new to me.

*1:53 pm- Brady texts me to let me know he has cracked and had 2 small handfuls of trail mix. 

Citrus- 2:oo pm

  • Pineapple, apple, lemon, mint

This was definitely my favorite juice (closely tied with the almond milks). At this point I was pretty happy and feeling confident that I could finish this thing strong.

Greens- 5:00 pm

  • Kale, spinach, romaine, parsley, cucumber, celery, apple, lemon, ginger

This is about when the juices started to wear on me. I told Brady I wasn’t feeling exceptionally hungry, but I missed food. (I truly just love food. Like a lot. No exaggeration: I think about it at least 3 times an hour. I even dreamed about Chinese food last night.) This is when I started to research foods you could eat while doing this particular cleanse.

Chocolate Almond Milk- 7:15 pm

  • Almonds, dates, cacao, sea salt

I loved this! It was like a perfect desert to look forward to throughout the day. It did not disappoint.

Baked Sweet Potato- 7:20 pm

We had too. And we added barbecue sauce. Now, technically the cleanse guidelines said that sweet potato was an acceptable food if you needed some. The barbecue sauce, however, was not recommended.

Nachos From My Favorite Restaurant Downtown/Large Cookie Dough Blizzard- 8:00 pm

We have no self control. I love spicy food. Brady loves sweets. So, we compromised and got both. We felt absolutely no shame. 

I suck at cleansing.

Basically, I like the idea of incorporating a jam-packed-with-health-and-goodness juice into your routine. But going all day on just juice is not for me. I like the balance of healthy meals, working out, a healthy juice, and a nice treat for yourself. That’s much more my style and WAY more realistic.

Honestly, the almond milks and the pineapple juice were pretty enjoyable. I didn’t even mind the green juices (the roots juice was a bit of a different story). I recommend picking some up to use as a healthy snack or an occasional meal replacement.

I want to know any cleansing advice you have or any juicing stories I should hear. I’m always open to trying it out, so let me know! Even if I did fail miserably…

Thanks for reading,