The first time I posted this the shock value with my friends and family was fantastic. Absolutely my favorite part of the post. But, it goes beyond the shock. I am weirdly and unabashedly connected to this piece.
Originally posted: August 16th 2016
I tend to toe the line between product reviews, outdoors love (less than I would like, as of late), and oversharing my emotions here on mgg. So, I figured it was about time I walk you through an exceptionally difficult time in my life.
It gets talked about a lot, but social media is just a snippet of one’s life. And even though I try to keep mine pretty real, I definitely gloss over some of the messier business I go through. But, I’m just like everyone else (of course I am… every 20-something with a tiny bit of extra time and a sense of ‘I can be witty and informative’ out there has a blog too!). Not everything is perfect.
I forget to switch over the laundry, so it starts to smell. I have days where I’m moody and pick fights (today). I get too lazy to take Teton for a walk. I cry, a lot. I pretend to read when really I’m watching YouTube.
It’s not all hikes and farmer’s markets. No matter how much I like to pretend it is
And that’s why I haven’t shared my hardest break up with you, yet. It’s not shiny or pretty. But, I want to be honest.
My 10 year relationship was recently ended. I was forced to sever ties and come to terms with the fact that we would not be getting back together. There was no patching things up this time.
Yes, my beloved ZX/2 Chacos in Burnt Orange had been destroyed.
Now, this had happened before. We went through some rough patches. The wear and tear of our relationship and forced me to seek some outside help to get these guys re-soled. And they had even been re-strapped (when Teton was a puppy, he got a little frustrated about the attention my Chacos were getting and he decided to chew right on through them…) but we had been able to come back from all that.
Not this time.
My parents’ new dog had ripped straight through these guys. I wasn’t too upset. I understood that those things happen. Chalked it up to stressful times visiting the family. And assumed we could patch it all up when we got home.
My stepmom even gave me her Chacos as a replacement. Of course, we all know being set up for a new relationship by your parents is sweet, but never works. I still knew in the back of my mind we could sort things out once we got home.
After I got home though, it became clear that I couldn’t. It had just been too long to go back to the way things were. We weren’t the same as when we met. (And Chaco no longer carried the Burnt Orange straps…) We had to officially part ways.
Goodbye to the literal hundreds (possibly thousands– estimates aren’t really my thing) miles we walked together. We had survived middle school, high school, college, and my first years teaching together. We got a dog together. We were dumped by our college boyfriend, then dumped him, then he called it off, then we finally broke up (classic). We went through that short hair/fat face phase. We said goodbye to our best friends together. And then we went on our first plane ride by ourselves to go visit them. We backpacked through Tahoe. We went on countless dates with Brady (no matter how much it bothered my more fashion-focused friends and family). We left home together.
And I’m not really proud of this, but I got a rebound right away. I know it’s not the healthiest way to handle it; I just had too. I was about to head out on vacation- a family vacation that my Chacos had gone on for the past 10 years- and I couldn’t face it alone. So, I rebounded.
Yes, the new ones are a bit fancier (or feminine, as my brother told me). They are durable. They are a bit lighter. And I like them, I really swear that I do.
But, I still keep my old ones under my bed. Some may say I have to let go. That it’s the healthy thing to do. I’m just not ready yet. And that’s okay.
We’ve still got the memories.
Thanks for reading,